arcticshatter

When Eeteuk had gone to Sungmin, the supposed Love Doctor, in hopes of finding his perfect soulmate – they said he had psychic powers and could find the other half of anyone’s soul – he hadn’t expected for it to actually work. After all, Eeteuk didn’t believe half the advertisements he saw on TV with all those people claiming that “The Love Doctor” had helped them find their true love when most of those said happily together since May! when it was only the end of July. Besides, those people looked unnatural, and there was no way the commercials could be right. He was skeptical to say the least, and he was extremely embarrassed calling up his office building and making an appointment with the Doctor.

He was even more embarrassed walking into the serious-looking building, walking slowly through the revolving door in his dress pants and nice shirt as though he were on his way to a business meeting. The building was made of stone, showing off a light grey exterior lined with hundreds of reflective windows and surrounded by a beautiful green lawn, and was that fountain he had seen just around the perimeter on his way in? He wanted to double back and check, but once he was in the door, he froze.

Eeteuk had traveled a long way to see this Love Doctor, and he knew things in the bigger cities were different, but even the automated parking meters – they read directly off his credit card and would ship him the bill after he left – couldn’t compare to the strange situation he encountered when first entering this building. The possibility of a fountain completely escaped his mind when cold fingers brushed his neck in an attempt to get his jacket off, but Eeteuk just flinched and pulled away from the touch, turning to stare at the person behind him. Well. Person wasn’t exactly the right word. It was certainly shaped like a person, it was dressed like a person, and when it opened its mouth to speak – “Good afternoon, Eeteuk-shi. The Doctor is waiting for you.” – it sounded like a person. But there was no way in Hell this thing with cold, silver-tinted skin was a person.

“Good afternoon, Eeteuk-shi,” the thing repeated, grinning in what was probably supposed to be a casual way but wound up making Eeteuk even more nervous. “The Doctor is waiting for you.”

It was difficult to relax enough to allow the thing to take his jacket off his shoulders, but somehow he managed it, and he felt terribly exposed by the thing’s incredibly realistic looking eyes. “Er…how do you know my name when I haven’t even said anything since I got in here?”

Dark brown irises focused on Eeteuk’s startled eyes, locking gazes, and Eeteuk got chills down his spine at the intensity of the gaze. “Eeteuk-shi has an appointment at two thirty. Eeteuk-shi is right on time to enjoy a cup of coffee or tea before seeing the Doctor.”

“Um…no, thanks.” Eeteuk was seriously second guessing his decision to see Sungmin now that he’d been two steps inside his office. Soul mate? He could find that on his own, despite all his past failures of getting anyone to notice him beyond ‘that adorable blonde boy in the back.’ But he could do it!

“I insist, Eeteuk-shi,” another voice sounded from his other side, startling him and causing him to scream slightly. There was another of these things, looking similar to the first one, holding out a steaming mug and smiling that horribly artificial smile. “It’s tea. It’s good for you.” He pushed it into Eeteuk’s hands, bowing deeply as he walked away.

“Drink it, Eeteuk-shi. It’s tea. It’s good for you,” the first one said with that smile and that horribly penetrating stare.

“O-okay,” he replied, deciding it was better to have those strangely real eyes looking somewhere that wasn’t Eeteuk. He lifted the mug to his lips and took a small drink, getting ready to turn and smile at the thing beside him and reassure him that “mmm, it’s delicious!” in hopes of getting that thing to leave him alone, but when the first warm drops hit his tongue, he found that it was, in fact, extremely delicious. It was the most delicious blend of chamomile and peppermint, his favorite kind of tea, mixed with hints of several other flavors that seemed to dance across his tongue and down his throat in the most delightful of ways. He took another drink, and another, until his mug was empty, frowning when the last little bit slid down his throat. “Can I-”

“The Doctor will see you now, Eeteuk-sshi.”

“Oh…what?” He glanced up at the tall figure, barely taking in what he’d said. “O-okay.” He stared sullenly into his mug, wishing that perhaps it could magically refill itself, but sadly, no such miracle occurred. “Is his office far? I’d really like some-”

“Eeteuk-shi, you look very healthy today,” the thing – Eeteuk had decided they were robots and that they were in desperate need of reprogramming – interrupted him, and Eeteuk felt offended that he only looked healthy today, then felt slightly curious as to how this thing knew what he looked like when he wasn’t healthy, then decided they were simply programmed to say these things and that he just shouldn’t worry about it. “Are you ready to find your soul mate?”

Eeteuk rolled his eyes, but felt strangely at ease, despite his earlier fears that things didn’t feel right. And he really wanted more of that tea. “I’ve been ready to find my soul mate for years. Hopefully this Love Doctor doesn’t turn out to be a fraud and actually helps me find-”

“The Doctor will see you now.”

Eeteuk hadn’t even noticed they were now stopped in front of large double doors emblazoned with the words, “Lee Sung Min: Love Doctor” in gold, embossed letters. A few minutes ago, he realized, he would have still felt nervous about being led down the hallway by one of these creepy robots that was just a little to real to be artificial, and a little too artificial to be real. But now, as he stood outside the office of the man who was going to help him and his incredibly lacking love life, he found that he actually felt quite at ease.

“Just remember to answer the questions honestly,” the robot said as he opened the door, smiling again – it could have just been Eeteuk, but his smile was a lot softer and more comforting now – and ushering Eeteuk in with a small push to his lower back. “Good luck, Eeteuk-shi.”

He supposed he should have taken that as a warning, but his mind felt too relaxed to bother caring about it. “Thanks,” he replied, lifting his hand in a lazy wave just as the door clicked shut behind him. The room he stood in was large, lit brightly by the dozens of windows around the room, and on the opposite side from where Eeteuk stood was a desk with a tall-backed chair behind it. The chair was currently turned away, but it wasn’t long before it was turned and Eeteuk could see the person sitting in it.

“Ah, Eeteuk-shi!” a bubbly voice said as the chair turned completely around and a long-legged boy – certainly he wasn’t older than fourteen – bounded out of the chair to shake Eeteuk’s hand and lead him to a chair on the other side of the desk from Sungmin’s. “You’re just on time! Come, sit, sit, I’m almost ready for you.”

The chair was small but comfortable, the little cushion on the back and bottom looking mischievously like they would be hard as rock but felt as though they were made of clouds, and Eeteuk relaxed visibly as he sat down, breathing out a sigh of relief as though letting out all his life’s frustrations in one breath.

“Good, good. Now,” Sungmin the Love Doctor sat back down in his chair and leaned on his desk, hands clasped under his chin as a sinister grin crossed his lips, “time to get to work.”

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Eeteuk’s head hurt more than anything once everything was done, and he honestly wondered what the point of all those questions were and if he could just go home now and sleep and maybe cry for the migraine he was developing, and he swore that if he had to answer just one more question he might try to hurt something. But when Sungmin clapped his hands together and stood up with a bright smile, proclaiming them done, Eeteuk allowed himself a small smile and a relieved sigh.

“Now, tell me how perfect he is for you,” Sungmin said, motioning behind Eeteuk, and when he turned to look, he saw two of those robots holding a third one between them, naked and with his eyes closed, and Eeteuk thought he’d never seen anything so beautiful in his life. Dark hair, exactly as he’d described, fell lightly over his forehead and layered down to the nape of his neck. His skin was lightly tanned, he was tall, his lips were curled ever so slightly into a charming smile, his legs were long and muscular. It couldn’t be real.

“He’s perfect,” Eeteuk whispered, taking a small step forward, reaching out to touch his hand, run his fingers over the flawless skin that covered his arms, chest, neck, cheeks. “Perfect.”

“Good,” Sungmin said from behind him, and Eeteuk felt a cloth pressed over his mouth. “Another one for the commercials,” was the last thing Eeteuk heard before he couldn’t breathe and everything went black.

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“You’re a fucking moron, Kangin, shut the hell up!” Heechul laughed loudly, shoving his lover in the arm and sloshing beer onto the sleeve of his shirt, getting a shout of annoyance from Kangin but nothing otherwise.

“Just because you’re too much of a pansy to not be on your back for once,” Kangin laughed back, attempting to lick the beer out of his sleeve. “Learn to dominate, you fucking girl. Come on, Kibum, tell Heechul he should learn to dominate in bed for once!”

Kibum just smiled shyly and sunk back in his seat. Drinking with his two best friends was always interesting since conversation usually led to their life in the bedroom and their drunken ramblings were always funny to say the least. But never would he get involved because he preferred his beer in his stomach, not on his shirt.

“Oh, shut the – oh, wait, shh!” Heechul shushed his friends, waving his beer in an attempt to keep them quiet even though they stopped talking the second Heechul started. “It’s one of those commercials!” He pointed to the TV mounted in the corner and grinned like an idiot.

“I’m Eeteuk, and using Doctor Sungmin’s help, I managed to find my perfect match in an easy, efficient manner. Thank you so much, Doctor Sungmin! I’ll never be lonely now that I have my Kyuhyunnie!”

“Look at those fucking fake smiles,” Heechul said once the commercial was over, taking a long drink from the bottle in his hand. “Bastard probably paid them to do that bullshit commercial. And did you see their skin? Fucking unnatural, I tell you.”

Kibum smiled and excused himself from his two friends, making an excuse that he needed to use the restroom, but went instead to the payphone, quickly dialing the number he’d seen on the screen. “Yes, I’d like to make an appointment.”